Immortal Love

[Music is the one incorporeal entrance into the higher world of knowledge which comprehends mankind but which mankind cannot comprehend.]

~LudwigVanBeethoven

Such sweet music swiftly flowing through my self the smooth soft notes strung out in a chorus of emotion. Agitation plunked out in the last notes of the opus Jubilantly leaping into the next movement; another day, another lifetime. Staccato ecstasy expressed in each new measure. The meaning known only to the composer but the emotion felt by all who have ears to hear. Heads dipping into the emulsion of melody & soul emerging forever deeper into that which cannot be expressed through words but that of the way the music thrives. Singing her lovely song to the tune of the exalted soul. The music is sanity when we are beyond all help, making us see the world in an entirely new light. Secretary to the downtrodden heart.
Forever mindful, forever healing, forever powerful



Forever Music

One on one by yourself

So today sort of started a new leaf in the Refuge chapter.
Dan asked us to go have some time to ourselfs to connect
with God by either, writing, praying, drawing ect.

So this is what i wrote: Sitting out here, the breeze lightly playing with my
hair a rustling of the pages of Susan's bible that i've come to
recgonize over the years. I can't help but
wonder...more so, question the ability to fathom how all of this came to
be what it is now. I hear the crickets chirping
jubilantly in the meadow, the soft playful sound of a sparrow in
the distance. I see the warm honey colored ferns & a touch
of purple painted in the sky as the sun slowly sets ending
another undescribable day.

How did this all come to be?

They say in the beginning of time God created the Earth, Moon, & Stars. He created living things, emotion, earthly laws. I feel that because I am mearly human it is an implausible wish to want to know how it all happened.

[But oh I yearn to know]

Oh how i do so yearn, I fight & question all I have been told, searching for the answers to the unanswerable.

Why DO I feel like this? Why is this like it is?

Ect...

I suppose the two largest, most inpending questions that are most certanly always at least in the back of my very muddles brain are:

What happens when you Die?
[&of course the beginning topic of this little rant of mine]
How did this all come to be exactly?

I wish I could know, I wish I could have home and longing for eternity like so many of my peers in Christ My family... But sometimes I question it all. Question you Lord. I know people struggle, but I feel like the only one
[Yes, I agree that is the most self centered thought ever]
So here's my question for anyone that is out there listening:
How do you unself-center yourself and start Christ orienting your thoughts? How do we heed his beckoning voice that is forever calling out to us?

REVELATION 22:1-6

1Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb 2down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. 3No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. 4They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. 5There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever. 6The angel said to me, "These words are trustworthy and true. The Lord, the God of the spirits of the prophets, sent his angel to show his servants the things that must soon take place."

Fire & Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

This year I'm taking Advanced American Literacy. Robert Frost's poem; Fire and Ice, is just one of the many incredible works of art in this huge bohemouth of a book that I've been given for the course of the year. Over a thousand pages of literary genious. All for me to study & revel over. This is one of the few classes I'm really bouncing off the walls excited for. [Unlike the dreadful...Level 2 Team Sports,I had enough of that bullshit during soccer season thanks.] So in place of that I'm really hoping that maybe on some successful little whim of niceness provided by my counselor, and a little back up by Mrs. Haskins I can switch it to Advanced Journalism, or something along the lines of the newspaper class.
[I'm sure she would be elated to hear that I can actually be on the newspaper staff this year]

The other aspect of this year that I'm looking forward to delving most of my designated [Geometry & Chemistry homework] time into is photography. Although I was a little dissapointingly put into Photo 1...for sheer annoyance to the aspiring photographers who are slightly more advanced in the workings of a camera than....well almost everyone that will be in the class. [what are ya gonna' do?]

Uhg...Alton Brown really irks me sometimes, not so much on Iron Chef...but on Good Eats....ooh...I just wanna wring his scrawney, neck untill all the nerdy just flows out onto the floor to be mopped up by his face. Sorry, random thought. Anyways While I'm on this food network topic, I've also decided that I watch more food network than anyone that goes to Howell High...or lives in Howell for that matter Thouh I get a plethera of ideas from some of the shows. & intresting names for oils....[Thank you Rachel Ray]
[I'm also drinking myself half to death with coffee right now...because I just realized 2 years. & read some old stuff & I cant forgive myself]Also because I have to leave in like 3 hours to go to fucking marching band practice.
This one will be pretty intresting, everyone has gotten to be very bratty and we need a little attitude adjustment. So we'll see how our pow-wow goes post-rehersal.

[My world seems to be engulfed in ice as the fire inside is trying
to escape. But in some otherworldy way it is being slowly suppressed...but trying, always trying to find a way]

It's all blind...everything

Love is truly blind It clouds the strongest of minds
It stops you from seeing the most obvious of signs
Thats why love is so painful, To find when one you
cherish leaves, You are helpless. For love is like an
arrow that strikes the heart. When they leave
you that arrow is plucked from your heart, and all that
is left is thisgaping seething hole A void of love Which
can never be filled. You become cold, not feeling or caring
For the only feeling you have left at all is loss.
For all of this is never seen coming
That is why love is truly blind.

"You can hide the pain that you feel and make others
believe that you can move on. But you can never deny the truth to yourself that the person who has failed you and hurt you is still the person you'll always choose to love."

Today wasen't one of the best days...
I did finish the band shirt design finally, so Smigell is going to come over to pick that up in the morning and ship it off to the guy before he leaves for the weekend. Basically that's all I did was drink coffee, watch Boondock Saints, & Draw today.
Some other shit went down, but whatever...It's not that important.

Anyways, I guess this'll just be a short entry because I'm tired & my hand is killing me tonight.

So take care,
Untill tomorrow.

Light Sabers, Banana Homebrew, & Beer Pong; Oh My! o_o

You know what is really fun?

Playing a few games of beer pong, & then having an epic Light Saber battle royal at 2:30am. So that's basically what I did last night. We also went and pretty much stole Adam from his house because his parents have been kinda dumb lately. So now Homeboy and I are the reigning champions in pong, wipeing out all the competition with ease. Having chaser beers
as we went lol.

[Even though our homebrew had a slight taste of bananas....ew]

When we went to bed though, apparently Eric & I fell asleep together on the couch so it
was really akward when I woke up with him curled up next to me....

At 8:30 he had to take the Leachface home though so me and Lauren streched out all our kinks from sleeping

[they're playing sell out in
the men's beach vollyball finals
bahaha!sorry back to story]

on the couches in weird positions and drove over to McDonalds only to be harrassed by the stupid worker lady who couldn't speak a word of decent English for the life of her.

So then I went home, took a shower and passed out on the couch again untill I had to leave for marching band rehersal, then afterwords went to Adam's for the grad party his parents were throwing for him. [I almost hit a wee bunny on the way there :( ]
So we played ultimate the majority of the time, I got my light saber with sith spikes.

[so much better than Lauren & Eric's]

& then got chased by a buggy on the way home lol.

So that was my last 38 hours or so.
Oh & guess what I just found out?
The woman's 20k speed walking finals are on....speed walking...it's an olympic...sport...really?
That's almost as bad a ping pong and hand ball...

Allright well I'm going to go watch Boondock Saints.
Night all

"Were all gambling with fate, will you take a chance or will you walk away? The choice is yours, and the consiquence is the same"

Passions